How to Carry Yourself With Strength When Others Fail to Value You

Hand shake firmly

Insights from Psychologist Beatriz Galván

Sometimes, the hardest battles are the ones fought silently within – especially when someone consistently undermines your worth or questions your abilities. Learning to identify and confidently respond to these subtle attacks is essential not only for your self-esteem but for your overall mental well-being.

Why Do People Undervalue Others?

We all face moments where the people around us don’t fully acknowledge our strengths. According to psychologist Beatriz Galván, people who belittle or undervalue you often project their own insecurities or limitations onto you.

“Those who minimize your opinions or achievements are sending a clear message: they don’t consider what you say or do as valid. These behaviors often mask their own fears or gaps in knowledge,” Galván explains.

Recognizing this can be empowering — it shifts the focus from “Am I really at fault?” to “This is about their own issues, not me.”

Spotting the Signs: Are You Being Undervalued?

Sometimes, it’s hard to pinpoint what’s making you feel off in a conversation. Here are some common scenarios that might mean you’re being undervalued:

  • Subtle Dismissal Through Gestures or Words
    An impatient wave of the hand or a sarcastic smirk can silently say, “What you’re saying doesn’t matter.” More overtly, direct comments that rank you “below” them in value or ability.

  • Fixating Only on Mistakes
    Everyone makes mistakes, but if the other person can only see your errors and ignores your efforts or successes, they are undermining your competence.

  • Downplaying Your Achievements
    Sharing something you’re proud of only to hear, “That’s easy, anyone could do that,” can chip away at your confidence over time.

  • Dismissive or Humiliating Remarks
    Cruel comments like “You don’t understand,” “That’s nonsense,” or “You’re clueless” are designed to silence you and make you doubt your ideas.

How to Respond When Someone Undervalues You

The way you respond can protect your self-esteem and mental health. Beatriz Galván offers a clear roadmap:

1. Own Your Feelings

First, acknowledge your emotions, frustration, hurt, or anger. Your feelings are valid, and accepting them helps you avoid burying emotional pain.

2. Regulate Your Emotions Before Responding

Pause to breathe and process. Avoid reacting defensively or impulsively. Calm, assertive responses come from self-control, not survival instinct.

3. Set Clear Boundaries

Express what is and isn’t acceptable clearly and politely. You don’t have to tolerate disrespect to keep the peace.

4. Protect Yourself Physically and Emotionally

If negativity is ongoing and damaging, create space or distance from that person. Sometimes the healthiest choice is to walk away.

5. Build a Supportive Network

Lean on friends, family, or colleagues who see your value and uplift you. Supportive relationships are vital buffers against emotional distress.

6. Prioritize Self-Care

Nurture your mind and body through good nutrition, exercise, hobbies, and positive self-talk. Self-care strengthens your resilience and self-worth.

Final Thoughts: Strengthen Your Confidence and Well-Being

Being undervalued can chip away at your confidence but it doesn’t have to. By recognizing disrespect, managing your emotions, setting boundaries, and seeking support, you take back control of your self-esteem.

Remember Beatriz Galván’s insight: often, others’ negative behavior reflects their own struggles, not your true worth. Stand firm, care for yourself, and surround yourself with positivity. You deserve nothing less.

 

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